Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Importance of Family



“The Importance of Family”

 Webster defines “family” as….

              “A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two

              parents and their children; two or more people who share goals and values,

              have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same

              dwelling place; all the members of a household under one roof; A group of

              persons sharing common ancestry.”

Pre-World War II families generally lived together under one roof or at least in the same town.  Soldiers returning from war were no longer satisfied with status quo and set out to seek their own fortunes…going to college, seeking professional employment, moving away.

I am a nostalgic.  Family is important to me.  As I get older and I realize that two-thirds of my life is now behind me, family becomes increasingly more important to me.  Sometimes I find myself looking back over my childhood (older people do that you know).  I was a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece.  It was a simpler time.  As a child my family consisted of me, my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins we visited often in Skokie and Oaklawn.  I remember my grandmother sitting in her chair carefully cutting the skin off of an apple with a paring knife…paper thin skin…one long strip of skin…never breaking it once!  I don’t think I ever remember my mom when her hands weren’t busy with something….sewing on buttons, knitting, crocheting…her hands were always working.  And sitting next to her on the table was a large cup of coffee…never empty…coffee pot always going.  Dad making his Sunday night trip to the Dairy Queen in Wauconda to bring back ice cream…one quart soft and one quart hard…one can of Hershey chocolate syrup. 

Annual family picnics at 522 Rose Avenue brought family from far and wide. Dad roasting chickens….lots of chickens….on the brick bar-b-que he painstakingly built when we moved in.  The patio, and I suspect the brick bar-b-que is still there, although the original house has been remodeled and expanded.  The men would sit around and play poker and drink beer; the women enjoyed rousing games of pinnacle, while the kids ran around the yard, went down to the beach, or played badminton in the side yard.  
Fast forward.  I am no longer a daughter, granddaughter, or niece.  My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts and uncles…all gone now.  I am the mom, grandma, aunt, and great aunt.  I am still a sibling, but our numbers are cut in half.  A new generation is growing up around me…growing up and adding more generations to the family.  With the exception of a few, our family still lives close by, but as they grow and seek new adventures, I fear they, too, will want to seek fame and fortune in places I probably will never see.  My heart will break as I say goodbye.  I wish I could keep them all close, but know in my heart I must let them fly. 

Many look at the Christmas season with a sense of dread and foreboding…the chaos of shopping, baking, and cooking.  Christmas Eve and Christmas Day festivities where the young folks must split their time with two sets of family.  I no longer do that, but their family obligations dictate they must.  It is difficult and tiring.  The noise, the crowd, everyone talking at the same time…picking up a conversation here, a conversation there, men watching television and dozing after a hearty meal. 

This is my favorite time of the year.  Getting together with my children, grandchildren, my sister’s daughter and her family on Christmas Eve.  Then on Christmas Day getting up early, packing up the car, and doing it all over again with the other side of the family.  Yes, it is crowded.  Yes, it is noisy.  Yes, it is chaotic.  But I love it!  After it is over, there is a sense of disappointment because I have to wait a whole year to do it again.  I don’t think my children understand how important this time is to me.  It is a time of family…of giving to one another….not just gifts…but of time and love of family…of establishing and re-establishing family bonds.  It is a time of joy, of putting aside all the problems and issues of the year and loving one another.

Thanksgiving is a tie for thanking God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us.  In spite of the economy, the high cost of gasoline, high unemployment, and upside-down mortgages, God has given me a wonderful family and extended family and reasonable good health.  The rest of what is going on in the world is unimportant.   Christmas is a time we celebrate the birth of our Lord.  It is a time of gathering of family members. And yes, it is the time of year when chaos and noise seem to be primary.  I love it!!

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